Thursday, May 17, 2012

Life is passing me by and work is harsh mistress

I've had a nagging feeling for a few months now and it was only recentry that I put my finger on the root of the problem. In following my non-academic friends' Facebook posts, tweets, and instagram photos I'm starting to feel like my life is passing me by. So many people I hung out with are getting on with their life, buying cars, condos/houses, getting married or settling down and being happy. At least their photos look happy.

Frequently, they have brunch on Sundays with friends at 'that new place on Queen West,' or $20 martinis at the Panorama Lounge on the top of the Manulife Centre. They have picnics and enjoy leisure time. These are all things I once did, and now to which I can only aspire.

Everytime I read one of these posts or see one of these photos I feel resentful that they are able to enjoy their lives without the chronic guilt of a dissertation and terminal unemployment. More upsetting is that these people rarely are in touch anymore because they know I will always politely decline their invitation no matter my eagerness to join them. I understand this resentment and anger is unbecoming, and it's also starting to have a negative impact on my motivation.

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