Sunday, March 11, 2012

Conference Haiku

A professional
Foreign terminology
In over my head.

Second day was long
Way too many good papers
Too many panels

Passive aggressive
Asking questions with comments
"Don't hate the hater."

Introduce yourself
You're here to meet and network
Don't press too much flesh.

Drinks the night before
Clocks move an hour forward
Hangover panels.

"Where is the coffee?"
"Kiosks on campus are closed"
Life can not go on.

Keynote addresses
Informative grandstanding
Pretty PowerPoint.

A thorough paper
"I really like your ideas!"
My question: "so what?"

Computer problems
Why don't people use handouts?
The copier broke.

Don't rush your paper
Emphasize all your key points
Pretend you know stuff.

Answering questions
Can't bullshit the bullshitter
In doubt? "I don't know."

The long trip home
Conference funding is nice
If I could get some.

Post conference blues
Back to the real world again
I hate the real world.

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